The Zero Hour

Reviews, rants and oddities on video game and film culture.

Raise Your Glass – Pink

Right right, turn off the lights
We gonna lose our minds tonight
What’s the dealio?

I love when it’s all too much
5 AM turn the radio up
Where’s the rock and roll?

YEAH! SONGS ABOUT PARTYING! I’VE NEVER HEARD THIS BEFORE! I think we’ve gathered our subject matter here…

Party crasher, panty snatcha’
Call me up if you are gangsta’
Don’t be fancy
Just get dancey

Dealio and dancey aren’t words, stop it making stupid slang that makes you seem like someones mum. Also rhyming Snatcha’ with gangsta’ just barely works as rhyme, I suppose it’s to rhyme with crasher, but…

Why so serious?

Why so rip-off?

So raise your glass if you are wrong
In all the right ways
All my underdogs, we will never be, never be
Anything but loud
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks
Won’t you come on, and come on, and
Raise your glass
Just come on and come and
Raise Your Glass!

I find it a bit redundant how Pink calls her fans or whatever “Underdogs” when she’s one of the most successful artists of the past decade, this whole chorus feels like it should have been written by someone younger and stupider, like 3Oh!3. You can’t be wrong in the right way, that’s a complete contradiction of the term. START MAKING SENSE!

Slam slam oh hot damn
What part of party don’t you understand?

Oh, see I was under the impression we were going to drink lemonade, play Jenga and talk about boys whilst braiding our hair. WHAT KIND OF PARTY IS THIS?
Wish you’d just freak out (freak out already)

Define freak out, go insane? smash up the place and leave angrily, leaving a trail of blood and several deceased midgets? Oh ok.

Can’t stop coming in hot
I should be locked up right on the spot
It’s so on right now (so fuckin’ on right now)

Gratouitus swearing. Because nothing says attitude like forced strong language, which gets edited out on radio play anyway. Good job!

Party crasher, panty snatcha’
Call me up if you a gangsta’
Don’t be fancy
Just get dancey
Why so serious?

So raise your glass if you are wrong
In all the right ways
All my underdogs, we will never be, never be
Anything but loud
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks

Won’t you come on, and come on, and
Raise your glass
Just come on and come and
Raise Your Glass!
Won’t you come on and come on and
Raise your glass!
Just come on and come and
Raise your glass!

No.

Oh shit my glass is empty…
that sucks !

 

…get a new one then, I don’t care. This line isn’t needed.
So if you’re too school for cool (I mean…)

What is this, I don’t even

And you’re treated like a fool (treated like a fool)
You could choose to let it go
We can always, we can always
party on our own…

 

You’ll go blind doing that.
So raise your (Aw fuck)
So raise your glass if you are wrong
In all the right ways
All my underdogs, we will never be, never be
Anything but loud
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks
So raise your glass if you are wrong
In all the right ways
All my underdogs, we will never be never be!
Anything but loud
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks
Won’t you come on! and come on! and
Raise your glass
Just come on and come and
Raise your glass
Won’t you come on! and come on! and
Raise your glass
For me
Just come on and come and
Raise your glass…for me

Ok, one dimensional lyrics about partying and drinking are not good songs. Sure there’s a whole generation of morons who will listen to this and “This is relatable” but it just illustrates how fickle and pointless the idea of living “Just to drink and party is” Besides Pink looks and must be about the age to be someones mum and lyrics like dealio, too school for cool and references to pop culture from 2 years ago like Why so serious just give the impression of 40 year old who goes up some teenagers and goes “Them Backstreet Boys are pretty fly, don’t you think” It feels creepy and wrong. I’ve listened to some dire songs in my time, but this really takes the biscuit. On the plus side, I can start next weeks review knowing full well it can’t get worse.

Oh bollocks.

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