The Zero Hour

Reviews, rants and oddities on video game and film culture.

Mike Posner – Cooler Than Me

This is a feature I haven’t done in a while, but one that I do enjoy very much. Basically, I sometimes listen to the radio and most of the time, I don’t like a lot of the pop music played, so I write this feature to show that. This week focusing on Mike Posner, a man who appeared from nowhere, made a tuneless single and I hope he goes back there. This is Cooler Than Me.

If I could write you a song,
and make you fall in love,
I would already have you up under my arm.
I used to pull all my tricks,
I hope that you like this.
but you probably won’t,
you think you’re cooler than me.

Ah, rejection. In this verse, Posner or whoever wrote this song is pining for someone and hitting on them, but knows he won’t get anywhere. He just wants a hug…  

you got designer shades,
just to hide your face and
you wear them around like
you’re cooler than me.
and you never say hey,
or remember my name.
its probably cuz,
you think you’re cooler than me.

Oh wow, I’m beginning to see a bit of annoying repetition already…*begins to put on coat*

you got your hot crowd,
shoes on your feet,

Wait…what? That really was necessary to point out? They’re wearing shoes? God how freakishly abnormal and hipster.

and you wear them around,
like they ain’t shit.
but you don’t know,
the way that you look,
when your steps
make
that
much
noise.

This
is
getting
annoying


see I got you,
all figured out,
you need everyone’s eyes just to feel seen.
girl, your so vain,
you probably think that this song is about you.
don’t you? don’t you?

I’m sorry, I think I’ve posted the wrong lyrics…oh wait, nevermind.

if I could write you a song,
and make you fall in love,
I would already have you up under my arm.
I used to pull all my tricks,
I hope that you like this.
but you probably won’t,
you think you’re cooler than me.

you got designer shades,
just to hide your face and
you wear them around like,
you’re cooler than me.
and you never say hey,
or remember my name.
it’s probably cuz,
you think you’re cooler than me.

I think there’s no long any “you THINK you’re cooler than me” I think she’s definitely cooler than you.

you got your hot crowd,
switching your walk,
and you don’t even look when you pass by.
but you don’t know,
the way that you look.
when your steps make
that
much
noise.

Don’t
do
this
again

and don’t you dare act like you don’t know,
know what’s up,
cuz your nose is up.
I’m approaching up.
like I can’t give you winter in the summer
or summer in the winter
Miami in December

errr…what?

trying to look bored in them Dior’s.
she probably is,
Was acting shallow ’til she found out
how deep that my pockets is
Mrs. pre-Madonna, this is your reminder
That I think you’re fine, but I’m finer

Now who’s the vain one, Posner?

‘Cause it sure seems
(‘Cause it sure seems)
You got no doubt
(That you got no doubt)
But we all see
(We all see)
You got your head in the clouds
(Clouds)

Oh wow, variety! Feels out of place though considering the amount of verses and chorus, we’ve already had. Or something, they’ve all kind of moulded into one like Playdough.

if I could write you a song,
and make you fall in love,
I would already have you up under my arm.
I used to pull all my tricks,
I hope that you like this.
but you probably won’t,
you think you’re cooler than me.

SHE IS COOLER THAN YOU, STOP BEING SO WHINY, YOU WHINY…whiner…

you got designer shades,
just to hide your face and
you wear them around like,
you’re cooler than me.
and you never say hey,
or remember my name.
its probably cuz,
you think you’re cooler than me.

I’ve a theory. The girls blind, which just makes Posner look an asshole, he’s written the song, so he can write out her seeing eye dog to make him seem likeable, which he doesn’t even do very well, lyrically it’s the most whiny and irrelevant thing ever and feels as though written by that guy in your class who wants to hang out with the popular kids, but can’t because he still wears hand me downs with patchwork sleeves.

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