The Zero Hour

Reviews, rants and oddities on video game and film culture.

The Greatest Nintendo Endings 10-1 (Spoilers, still)

10. The Legend Of Zelda: Majora’s Mask

The legend of Zelda is the bleakest Zelda ever, (want proof?) Link and the gods have stopped Skull Kid and Link has gone into the bizarre afterlife esque dimension and destroyed the Mutated Resident Evil style Majora’s Mask. What follows? The Dawn Of A New Day. Just those words are beautiful to read and the most clear way to see how you succeded. All loose ends are partially tied up (it’s impossible to tie up them ALL mind) But everyone lives, just this once, EVERYBODY LIVES!

Essential Moment: “Dawn Of…A NEW DAY”

9. Eternal Darkness

Eternal Darkness is potentially the bleakest game on the list, Pius, the messenger of the chosen god is destroyed, as is the god. However, another god remains in our dimension, who will destroy the universe.  He is binded by Edwars ghost. After completing the game 3 times, all the gods are destroyed. Except one. Mantarok,  lays in his tomb trapped for all eternity…waiting.

Essential Moment: Edward: “He sits, slowly dying, festering….waiting”

8. Banjo Kazooie

Earlier in the list, we saw Banjo Tooie, the sequel to this game. This game isn’t as silly, but is fairly bonkers. Banjo and Kazooie summon the Jinjonator who continually rams into Grunty, knocking her off her tower, Which, somehow doesn’t kill her, and neither does the rock that lands on top of her. Banjo, Kazooie, Bottles, Tooty and Mumbo then sit on a beach discussing the sequel and Stop ‘n’ Swop (Also, notice the innuendo with the bikini girl). What a shame it won’t actually be in the sequel….And Grunty is doomed to spend the rest of her life under a rock, whilst Klungo tires (admittedly not very hard) to free her.

Essential Moment: Captain Blubber riding past on a Jet-ski, a hint to his profession in the sequel.

7. The Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Midna’s not dead! Over a beautiful soundtrack, Ganondorf is once again defeated and Hyrule is safe. However, Link sees something on the horizon. Midna, the Twilight Princess is alive and back in her true form, a green beautiful woman. And as the credits roll, you see the children return to their homes, everyone doing the Malo dance (OoT reference?) Hyrule Castle being restored and Link riding off into the sunset away from everyone else…h and Midna leaves Link…forever. It’s touching.

Essential Moment: Zant’s spirit killing Ganondorf, the apprentice becoming the master.

6. Super Mario Galaxy

WELCOME NEW GALAXY! In order to Stop Bowser’s new Galaxy forming, all the lumas do a suicide leap to overpower it, sending Mario, Peach, Bowser and well, pretty much everyone hurtling through space, before landing on Terra Firma. Suddenly, it’s obvious, Rosalina and the lumas have gone and created a new Galaxy, as told by the library logs. But the scene where the Lumas all jump into the blackhole is really sad and touching, especially when Mario’s waves him good bye, it’s actually quite sad to see a little character who’ve you’ve not really noticed the whole time go, maybe we’ll meet again in the sequel…

Essential Moment: Rosalina: “Yes…all new life…”

5. Super Mario World

Mario and Peach are going on a vacation. With Yoshi. Yay! Nah, what really makes this games ending amazing is giving out the names of all the enemies, the best three being Chargin’ Chuck (the American Football koopas), Amazin’ Flying Hammer Brother and Rip Van Fish. Let’s think about that last one for a second, Rip Van Fish. Possibly the greatest enemy name ever.

Essential Moment: “Mario and the Princess are going on Vacation”

4. Conker’s Bad Fur Day

I love the monologue and RObin Beanland’s haunting score as the credits roll here. For a game that based itself on immature humour and movie references (Alien is the final boss) it’s quite a dark, adult ending, maybe symbolic of the game growing up. Berri is dead and Conker is king, king of all the land. But he doesn’t want it, he just wants to go home with Berri. It’s pretty melancholic and dark and ends with him leaving the pub, walking in the other direction…Chris Seavor (Head Conker Honcho) said that the original ending was to have Conker commit suicide, but it was changed. Although as horrible and ending as that would be, it may have been more fitting.

Essential Moment: Conker’s whole haunting monologue, laden with regret, amazingly voiced by Chris Seavor.

3. Yoshi’s Island

Yoshi’s Island is a great ending, not because it’s an end, it’s actually a beginning. That doesn’t make sense, right? Well, Yoshi reuinites the two babies back together and they are taken to their parents. Now, throughout the game, although it’s obvious, you never really make the link between Baby Mario=Mario. So at the very end, your heart warms when they’re taken to their mushroom house and the words “Our Heroes are born” come up on the screen, you smile your face off. Of course, that’s been ruined for me when I showed my friend the ending and he replied “But Mario was born in Brooklyn,” Dagnabbit…

Essential Moment: “Our Heroes are born”

2. The Legend Of Zelda: The Wind Waker

The Wind Waker is my all time favourite game, I lvoe it, so it’s not surprising it turned up here. Link stabs Ganondorf IN THE HEAD. Turning him to stone forever with the master sword stuck in him. However because of the Kings actions, Hyrule is finally going to drown and be lost forever. The kings final act to is to make sure Link and Zelda escape back to the surface. The King stays with his fallen kingdom, despite Link, as he floats back to the surface trying to save him. It’s utterly tragic. After the credits, Link and Tetra leave Outset Island, never to return. The credits that play are the most beautiful credits sequence imaginable with every character appearing, an amazing score and the games conclusion feels like a dead end to the series. Although they succesfully told another story after this,  it feels like a conclusion.

Essential Moment: Daphnes Hyrule: “But that land will not be Hyule…it will be…YOUR LAND,”

1. Mother 3

Mother 3 has the bleakest ending of all time, Claus, Lucas’ brother has just killed himself after realising all the pain he’s put Lucas and his family through. Now Lucas must pull the needle, awakening the dark dragon and starting the world all over again. Basically, you destroy the world to put it bluntly. But, there is a plus side here, after all the tragedy, the destruction, you’re left with a blank screen. Wander around a bit and you’ll find. Everyone’s alive. It’s the gaming equivalent of a horrible fire destroying your crops and finding a sprout growing. It brings a tear of joy to your face as everyone congratulates you personally. The door knob is then passed down to you and you’re left to imagine, what will happen to the world? As the credits roll. Then you’re left with one image. The game logo, the metal chipped away to reveal a completely wooden logo with the earth spinning around. Proving Nature has won out in a battle  against nuture. Truly breathtaking, tragic, beautiful and uplifting at once.

Essential Moment: The whole thing



I could not think of a better way to end this countdown.

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